14 / 16 · a relation with direction
Supervisee
被監督 · Подревизный · supervisee's side
Words light to them stay long with you.
被監督 ／ seen from the supervised side ／ the other side is Supervision
The other person is not concerned at all. Only you are, and they never notice it to the end. Which is exactly why there is much to receive in this relation.
SUPERVISEE
01 When you first meet
Somehow you brace
Not an unpleasant person. If anything they look capable, and are. And yet, only in front of this person do your answers stiffen. After talking, you catch yourself replaying how you put things.
The other has done nothing. Only, the area you least want seen is one they handle without effort. Their just standing there reminds you of your own lack.
That the other is not at fault is the hardest thing to explain about this relation.
02 After a while
Trying to catch up
Their evaluation weighs more than anyone else's. Praise sounds like courtesy, and a remark keeps you thinking all day.
The direction of your effort, too, comes to be aligned to that person before you know it. But that is the place where you are most at a disadvantage. The gap does not close however long you spend, and you drift away from where you are strong.
The other has no awareness of this. Nor do they notice that you take it heavily. Tell them and it usually does not get through.
03 If it is to last
Stand in your own place
What wears you down in this relation is not a lack of ability. It is that the other's strength and your weakness happen to sit in the same place.
So better not to compete on their ground. Using what you received in the place where you are strong takes you far further. Receive recognition somewhere else. That alone makes this relation suddenly lighter.
What the other does without effort is an area you could not notice on your own. As someone to learn from, there are few better teaching materials.
What the supervised side can do
The power to change the frame lies with the other. But your own wear can be reduced.
- Do not treat their evaluation as evaluation
- The other does not mean to judge. They are only giving an impression. Just knowing that the weight is added on your side changes how you receive it.
- Spread the people you seek recognition from
- Concentrate it on this one person and it will always fall short. Having the experience of being valued elsewhere lowers the pressure of this relation relatively.
- Hold an area of your own strength explicitly
- Even in this relation there are areas where you are clearly strong. Secure those as your charge and the vertical frame becomes harder to fix.
Strong as someone to learn from
Limit the use and it is a very advantageous relation.
- An area invisible to you is there
- What the other does as a matter of course is an area you could not notice on your own. For observing as a skill, they are the best partner.
- Set a term
- As an apprenticeship with an end, the pressure of this relation becomes a driving force. It is in the supposedly equal relation with no end in sight that the wear remains.
- Do not come too close
- Out of respect you want to close the distance, but the closer, the higher the pressure. One step removed keeps a better relation.
PROne thing for this relation
A relation where words light to them stay long, so tools to protect yourself.
- Tools for time aloneInstinctively keeping distance is the right reaction.
- A book for putting your strengths into wordsThe supervisor cannot see your first function.
- A notebook to write and keepPrepare for the blow when approval turns out false.
Works that draw this relation
Chosen from works where the relationship between the two is itself the centre of the story.
- The Devil Wears Prada2006 · film · US
The other is not concerned at all. Only you are: that asymmetry runs through the whole film.
This is not a typing of the characters. They are listed as examples where the shape of this relation is drawn clearly.
Songs this relation runs through
Chosen from songs whose subject is exactly what happens between the two.
- CreepRadiohead · 1992
The other minds nothing. Only you do: that asymmetry has become the song itself.
- Machigai SagashiMasaki Suda · 2019
Beside the one who is right, only you look like the mistake. The song closest to the feeling of being supervised.
No lyrics are quoted. The songs are listed for the shape of relation they deal with.
Supervision (supervisee) in Model A: what talks to what
Example: INTJ and ESTP. Every pair in this relation connects the same positions in the same way; only the elements inside change.
Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)
The 16 pairs in this relation
The left is the supervised side, the right the supervising. Reverse the direction and it is a different relation.
This relation has a direction. Read from the supervising side, it looks entirely different.
To the Supervision page