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Kindred
親族 · Родственные
Noticing the same thing, proceeding differently.
親族 ／ one of the sixteen relations
You are looking at the same thing. So you can sympathise. Only the way of proceeding from there differs, so leaving the route to each person works best.
KINDRED
01 When you first meet
The same eye for things
You notice the same things. In the same scene you find the same thing amusing, feel the same unease. Talking, you feel this is someone like you. Because your interests point the same way.
But from there on it differs. Looking at the same thing, one handles it through people's feelings, the other through the mechanism. The entrance is the same; the exits are separate.
The first thing that happens in this relation is taking each other for kin. Noticing the difference comes after.
02 After a while
You can sympathise, yet the steps split
Small talk continues. You share a sense of the problem. But try to move something forward together and it suddenly goes out of joint.
It is not the policy that splits. The steps split. What to start with, what to prioritise, where to compromise. At every small judgement, the other person's way catches.
And since you understand them, you cannot strongly object either. You see it, but you would not do it that way. This state continues.
03 If it is to last
Close by, not mixing
The relation itself continues. You often find yourselves in the same place, and there is no ill feeling. Only, you stay side by side forever and never become one. As someone to talk to, it is a combination that lasts quite long.
In joint work, better not to seek agreement on method. Tackling the same task in parallel, each in their own way, suits these two. Make an arrangement judged by results alone and it suddenly gets easier.
The more you comment on the other's steps, the less it fits. The more you leave to them, the better it goes.
Telling it from other relations
There are several relations that are "alike yet do not mesh". Where they fail to mesh differs.
- The difference from mirror
- Mirror handles things in the same family of ways and looks at different faces. So it becomes an argument. Kindred looks at the same thing and handles it differently. So it does not become an argument; it diverges in the steps.
- The difference from identity
- Identity agrees even on the method. Kindred differs there alone. Leave it to them thinking you are alike, and something other than expected comes back.
- The difference from extinguishment
- Extinguishment moves in opposite directions on the same topic. Kindred moves in the same direction by different routes. The destination is shared.
Where this relation is useful
As a talking relation it is good. Take care only with the design of the work and it functions fully.
- Strong at the stage of finding the problem
- Noticing the same things, discovering the issue and sharing the current state is fast. Up to here it works very well.
- Separate at the stage of solving
- Seeking agreement on method is draining. Tackling it in parallel, each in their own way, brings results sooner too.
- Do not check in detail
- The more you comment on the other's steps, the less it fits. An arrangement judged by results alone makes both the relation and the work easier.
PROne thing for this relation
A relation that notices the same thing and proceeds differently, so tools to align the method.
- A task-splitting appSplit the jobs and the points of friction disappear.
- A shared household ledgerSame goal, different steps. Align by numbers.
- A whiteboardWrite and divide, rather than talk.
Works that draw this relation
Chosen from works where the relationship between the two is itself the centre of the story.
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid1969 · film · US
What they aim at stays the same throughout; only the method never meshes to the end. Two who remain good partners without ever becoming alike.
This is not a typing of the characters. They are listed as examples where the shape of this relation is drawn clearly.
Songs this relation runs through
Chosen from songs whose subject is exactly what happens between the two.
- Two of UsThe Beatles · 1970
Two people going home by the same road, each in their own way. Side by side, not mixing.
- Wakamono no SubeteFujifabric · 2007
Two who looked at the same scenery go on, just like that, by separate steps. Nothing bad happens.
No lyrics are quoted. The songs are listed for the shape of relation they deal with.
Kindred in Model A: what talks to what
Example: INTJ and ISTJ. Every pair in this relation connects the same positions in the same way; only the elements inside change.
Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)
The 8 pairs in this relation
Kindred is symmetric: it looks the same from either side.