16 / 16 · a relation with direction
Beneficiary
受益 · Социальный заказчик · beneficiary's side
That one remark works on you later.
受益 ／ seen from the receiving side ／ the other side is Benefit
A casual remark of the other's stays long with you. They are not aware of it. Even so, what this relation brings is considerable.
BENEFICIARY
01 When you first meet
Somehow it gets in
The same content, said by this person, arrives. Less a reasoned agreement than something falling into place. After listening, you sometimes find you have actually changed something.
The other has said nothing special. What that person does as a matter of course just happens to sit in the same place as what you always wanted. So a light word lands heavy on your side.
A feeling close to respect wells up. But the other has no awareness of being respected.
02 After a while
What you say does not arrive much
You mean to give back too. You try to be useful with what you are good at. But the other's reaction is faint. Not rejected, just passing by.
Eventually you notice. The other has no interest in what you are best at. Not that they deny your ability; it is not within their field of view. Tell them, and the topic drifts elsewhere.
Still, you keep waiting for the other's words. Even after noticing this asymmetry, the pull does not weaken.
03 If it is to last
Use it in your own place
The wish to come closer can turn into effort in the place where you are most at a disadvantage. Compete on the other's ground and the gap does not close however long you spend, and you drift away from where you are strong.
So use what you received in the place where you are strong. That takes you far further. Receive recognition elsewhere and only the advantage of this relation remains.
Looking back years later, this person is sometimes at the turning point. A relation in which the direction actually changes.
What the receiving side can do
This relation brings something of quality. No need to break it. The point is not to mistake your position.
- Do not compete on the other's ground
- The wish to come closer turns into effort in the place where you are most at a disadvantage. What you received comes alive when used in the place where you are strong.
- Do not expect to be recognised
- Your strength lies outside the other's interest. It is not a matter of character, so changing how you say it changes nothing. Receiving recognition elsewhere is healthier.
- Be aware that you are receiving
- This relation actually carries value. Putting into words what you are getting reduces the guilt of not being able to return it.
What this relation brings
If you do not ask for equality, it is among the most advantageous of the sixteen.
- A viewpoint you cannot get on your own
- What the other holds without effort is what you wanted and could not reach. As someone to learn from, few combinations are more efficient.
- The direction changes
- In this relation, your course and way of thinking actually move. Looking back years later, this person is sometimes at the turning point.
- Do not close the distance too much
- The closer, the more the unreachability shows. A slightly removed position receives only the advantage of this relation.
PROne thing for this relation
A relation where that remark works later, so tools to return what you received.
- Flowers to say thank youNot ingratiating, but returning.
- A course that grows your own domainThe receiving side has talent in its own domain.
- Letter-writing toolsFor someone whose words enter as truth, answer in words.
Works that draw this relation
Chosen from works where the relationship between the two is itself the centre of the story.
- Every Day a Good Day2018 · film · Japan
A remark received works on you over years. The one who handed it over is not aware.
This is not a typing of the characters. They are listed as examples where the shape of this relation is drawn clearly.
Songs this relation runs through
Chosen from songs whose subject is exactly what happens between the two.
- Wind Beneath My WingsBette Midler · 1988
A song from the side that notices later it had been receiving. The other is not aware.
- KanadeSukima Switch · 2004
Taking what you were given and walking to your own place. It overlaps with how benefit closes.
No lyrics are quoted. The songs are listed for the shape of relation they deal with.
Benefit (beneficiary) in Model A: what talks to what
Example: INTJ and INFP. Every pair in this relation connects the same positions in the same way; only the elements inside change.
Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)
The 16 pairs in this relation
The left is the receiving side, the right the giving. Reverse the direction and it is a different relation.
This relation has a direction. Read from the giving side, it looks entirely different.
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