At first it was the best

A combination that saturates fast.

My partner does not listen to me

They cut off a topic they are tired of, the observation says. You are doing the same.

What is ESFJ and ESFJ compatibility in love?

Tends to end quickly, the observation says. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".

Do ESFJ and ESFJ work well together?

Give practical detail to someone else. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".

a pair in the sixteen relations

ESFJ×ESFJ

ESE × ESE

Identity

Half a sentence, and it gets through.

Half a sentence, and it gets through. Someone who delights in the same things with the same heat. But bathed in that heat twice over, you wear out.

ESFJ and ESFJ compatibility in brief (love, work, friendship)

ESFJ × ESFJ is the Identity relation, one of the sixteen. Half a sentence, and it gets through.

LoveTends to end quickly, the observation says.WorkGive practical detail to someone else.Friends & conversationBright at first. When the same story enters its second round, it saturates.

Written as ESFJ × ESFJ it is the same pair. In 16Personalities terms, the Consul and the Consul.

ESFJ — The host ESFJ — The host Identity

No explanation needed

Values, tastes and sympathies match at once, and the first atmosphere is bright. Both are warm, emotional and passionate.

In terms of the mechanism, the "emotion that warms the room" in ESFJ's first position and the "sensing that arranges comfort" in the second sit in exactly the same positions in the other. The view you are best at, the other is best at too. So no explanation is needed, and so no new perspective comes from the other either. The strong places overlap, and do not double.

In the old observations, in identity the same elements of both act in the same positions, and a complete, painless repulsion arises. Since no words are needed, there is also nothing the other can hand you. For these two, the power to reason and the power to calculate ahead are absent on both sides.

The observation says the same heat produces saturation rather than harmony. Each wants to monopolise their own urgent topic and does not want to hear the same complaint again.

Telling the same story any number of times, never wanting to hear it twice.

Saturation

When one tires of a topic, they cut it off as "boring" even while the other is still absorbed. Topics narrow to family and what is in front of you, and everything else becomes trivial.

The empty places are the same too. The "logic that carries reasoning through" ESFJ wants most is what the other wants most, and neither has it. The "eye that reads ahead", which each produces with a little effort, takes a little effort from both. What flows in silently between duals never flowed between these two in the first place.

In practical matters both get lost. Mixing up the pharmacy and the post office, overfilling the schedule, braking each other. Fighting fiercely over the ownership of things.

There is a form that lasts. Mentor and pupil, with a difference in age and experience and deep respect. There the sensitivity and consideration of these two come out in their proper form.

How each sees the other

ESFJ → ESFJ

They delight in the same things with the same heat.

Values and tastes match at once.

Bright.

ESFJ → ESFJ

They no longer want to hear your stories.

They tell the same story over and over.

It becomes a tug of war over things.

What has been recorded

SCENE 01A confession that worked too well
At dinner the man spoke of his feelings extravagantly, the woman recoiled, the man was hurt, and it ended in mutual awkwardness.
SCENE 02The pharmacy and the post office
Both weak on practical detail, they mixed up the locations of the pharmacy and the post office and piled confusion on confusion, the observation says.
SCENE 03As mentor and pupil, it lasts
A case of an older actress giving lasting friendship and support to a young beginner. It lasts where there is a difference in age and experience and deep respect, the record says.

A pair on record

Faina Ranevskaya (ESE) × Marina Neyolova (ESE)

Typing: from the source (Stratievskaya)

An already famous actress gave a young beginner friendship and support through a difficult period. The source cites it as an identity pair that lasted in the form of mentor and pupil.

What matches: saturation between equals; lasting where there is a difference in age and experience, and respect.

Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene

ConversationBright at first. When the same story enters its second round, it saturates.

RomanceTends to end quickly, the observation says.

Living togetherYou fight over the ownership of things.

WorkGive practical detail to someone else.

FamilyLong-lasting in the form of mentor and pupil.

If you keep going

Do not monopolise the conversation: You cannot listen to the same complaint twice over.
Put practical matters outside: Both of you get lost.
Acknowledge the difference: The forms with a difference in age and experience have lasted.

For these two

How to meet ── Deep inside the same hobby: A relation needing no explanation. Specialist gatherings, fans of the same author, the same sport. The person it got through to at once: that is the one.
Approach ── Connect through what is interesting: The bond between these two is interest alone. Interesting talk over talk of daily life. It ends when the interest ends, so keep the interest alive.
A date ── The same thing, side by side: A day of doing the same hobby side by side. The care of daily life comes from neither, so eat out.
Gifts ── same type; for both, Something consistent: A tool with a clean mechanism, something with an organised manual. What ESFJ does not assemble alone. What you would be glad to receive is exactly right for the other. But you easily give each other the same thing on the same day, so hand it over first, or shift it a little.

PROne thing for this relation

A relation that gets through from half a sentence, so experiences needing no explanation.

Two sets of the same hobby gearFor two who enjoy the same thing at the same speed.
A service that takes daily chores outsideWhat comes from neither, put outside.
A senior's bookIdentity is most useful when learning.

Frequently asked

At first it was the best: A combination that saturates fast.
My partner does not listen to me: They cut off a topic they are tired of, the observation says. You are doing the same.
It is tiring, like looking at myself: A feature of identity.
What is ESFJ and ESFJ compatibility in love?: Tends to end quickly, the observation says. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".
Do ESFJ and ESFJ work well together?: Give practical detail to someone else. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".

This pair is the identity relation, one of the sixteen. How the relation itself arises, and how to tell it from the others, is on the relation page.

The two Model A's: what talks to what

ESFJ on the left, ESFJ on the right. Each shows where the eight elements sit; lines connect the same element. Where each line starts and ends decides what happens in this relation.

Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)

1 → 1FeESFJ's 1 (leading) Fe (extraverted ethics) sits in ESFJ's position 1 (leading). Both strong here. Same ground: fast understanding, and some rivalry.

2 → 2SiESFJ's 2 (creative) Si (introverted sensing) sits in ESFJ's position 2 (creative). Both strong here. Same ground: fast understanding, and some rivalry.

3 → 3TeESFJ's 3 (role) Te (extraverted logic) sits in ESFJ's position 3 (role). Both weak. The same thing goes wrong for both.

4 → 4NiESFJ's 4 (vulnerable) Ni (introverted intuition) sits in ESFJ's position 4 (vulnerable). Both weak. The same thing goes wrong for both.

5 → 5TiESFJ's 5 (suggestive) Ti (introverted logic) sits in ESFJ's position 5 (suggestive). Both want it, neither has it. Must come from outside.

6 → 6NeESFJ's 6 (mobilizing) Ne (extraverted intuition) sits in ESFJ's position 6 (mobilizing). Both want it, neither has it. Must come from outside.

7 → 7FiESFJ's 7 (ignoring) Fi (introverted ethics) sits in ESFJ's position 7 (ignoring). Both capable, both indifferent. Left alone.

8 → 8SeESFJ's 8 (demonstrative) Se (extraverted sensing) sits in ESFJ's position 8 (demonstrative). Both capable, both indifferent. Left alone.

Other pairs in the «Identity»

ENFJ × ENFJ ENFP × ENFP ENTJ × ENTJ ENTP × ENTP ESFP × ESFP ESTJ × ESTJ ESTP × ESTP INFJ × INFJ INFP × INFP INTJ × INTJ INTP × INTP ISFJ × ISFJ ISFP × ISFP ISTJ × ISTJ ISTP × ISTP

This page is also available in Japanese: ESFJ と ESFJ の相性. Русская версия: ESFJ × ESFJ.

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