No vehicle is better than another, and neither is any of the sixteen types. What matches is the behaviour: which road it takes, how it accelerates, where it stops. One vehicle for each of the sixteen, as a metaphor and nothing more.
Submarine
WhyTravels straight and silently where it cannot be seen. Surfaces only when surfacing is required.
Riding in itNobody knows where it is, and it always arrives where it had to arrive.
Glider
WhyNo engine: it goes a long way on rising air alone, always looking for the route that costs least.
Riding in itBad at setting off on its own. Given a launch, it travels startlingly far.
Container ship
WhyTakes the shortest route and pushes through by sheer volume. Once moving, not easily stopped.
Riding in itStopping takes time, so a change of course has to be announced early.
Skateboard
WhyTurns any terrain into a game. A kerb or a rail is not an obstacle but a tool.
Riding in itNever rides the same spot twice: boredom arrives first.
Night train
WhyCarries sleeping people quietly and far. Those being carried never look at the driver's cab.
Riding in itOnly on arrival does anyone realise how long the distance was.
Sailing boat
WhyWaits for the wind. When it comes, it runs beautifully and surprisingly fast.
Riding in itForce it along under engine and everything good about it disappears.
Hot-air balloon
WhyLifts everyone together to the same height. It has no mechanism for leaving anyone behind.
Riding in itExcellent at rising. Always wants someone else to choose the landing spot.
Touring bicycle
WhyCan turn off on a whim, light enough for a lane that is not on the map.
Riding in itGets heavy the moment the luggage grows. Fastest while it travels light.
Tram
WhyOn the rails, on the timetable. Not leaving the line is precisely where its strength comes from.
Riding in itAsk it to go where there are no rails and it is genuinely stuck.
Ferry
WhyCrosses the same water every day and carries daily life itself. Unglamorous, and without it the island is cut off.
Riding in itDoes not consider what it does to be anything special.
Long-haul truck
WhyLoads up and arrives on time, reliably. Finds meaning in being early.
Riding in itGetting it to take a break is harder than getting it to drive.
City bus
WhyWaits until everyone is aboard, and keeps checking the back while it drives.
Riding in itIf someone was left behind, it thinks about that for the rest of the day.
Motorcycle
WhyTurns with the body rather than the head. Does its own maintenance, and it is faster that way.
Riding in itDoes not mind a passenger, but wants to choose the destination.
Camper van
WhyCarries its own comfort with it, and makes wherever it stops its own place at once.
Riding in itGive it a hurried itinerary and everything good about it is gone.
Rally car
WhyFaster where the road is not paved. Bounces through and comes out ahead on momentum.
Riding in itDrives on the assumption that things break, so it is strongest with a mechanic beside it.
Open-top car
WhyThe point is the time spent driving, not the destination. Being looked at is the fuel.
Riding in itRain and traffic jams are its two weaknesses.
These vehicles say nothing about performance; they are metaphors for the way of travelling. Other metaphors: dog breeds, instruments, birds, football, rooms.
The vehicles are only the entrance. Pick your type and theirs, and you find which of the sixteen relations the two of you are in.
Pick the two types